Volume 8: Dark & Funny

Happy new year my darling tarts! I am not expecting much from 2013, so bring on the surprises. To kick off the new year, I got a lovely Australian band (super unique) and an adorable and Spice Girlsy group of Asian girls for you.

Twelve Foot Ninja - Coming For You
Loss for words. Honestly, that is how I feel right now. For the first 37 seconds of this song, I was like..."mehh...metal stuff...I don't really like met--" and then 0:38 happened. Oh, my god. So funny. The video kinda makes the song at times, but now that I'm listening to the song by itself, I can see how its awesomeness leaps to new heights. Or rather, hear.

So, this is an Australian band, is it? Ah, that makes sense. Cue the incredibly funny sense of humor.

The premise of the lyrics is also hilarious: in the metal bits, it's basically rape. In the jazzy bits, he is much less coercive. And sliding into the disco section, it gets a bit more forceful but not really actually. "Make peace within!"

I love the salsa bits, seriously, this shit is genius.

Worth watching?: Yes, yes! You'll laugh and cry.
Downloadable?: I'll decide that later.

KARA - MR.
This is love. I mean, I have such a crush on these girls. They are all adorable and I want to gobble them up madcore. "Mistahhhh!" So, the video is good eye candy. The butt swing is hilarious. I've heard its quite popular nowadays.

I'm confused. I know this is Korean, but there are Japanese lyrics...and English lyrics also of course. Let's not forget that we are in Asia. I guess it's just to be marketable in Korean and Japan? "Listen to my Everything! Feel me!"

As for the song, it's not exactly catchy, and I don't love the repetitive melody. I just like the girls and their fashion is so fresh. Cute and funny. Give it a watch.

Worth watching?: Yes.
Downloadable?: Probably not.

Special Edition: The Junior Eurovision Song Contest is OVER

And, its....

Anastasiya Petryk - Nebo / Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2012 !!!!!!

I'm really not sure how to go about reviewing this song, because a) I don't actually like it that much and b) she's like 10 years old.

This is from the largely unwatched and undercovered Junior Eurovision Song Contest. Anyway, there's something catchy and magical about this song, and I need to express how weird it is that Ukraine keeps going for these dubstep tunes. (ref. "Be My Guest - Gaitana").

I mean, she's 10. Is dubstep really her thing?

The chorus is...well, I wouldn't describe it as catchy, but it's nice and she does hold a tune. The background haunting vocals are a bit misplaced. I mean, what's the context? There is a Prince of Egypt thing going on, like one of the singers from the soundtrack wandered over to the Netherlands to back this chick up? But this is supposed to be the Ukraine, aww hell I'm confused. The whole thing makes it seem a bit cheesy, but I LOVE her dress. She is one lucky pop tart.

"Zank you veddy maaach!"

Anyway, give it a listen. Millions of curious Europeans voted for her, after all. 138 points? Wow.

Also, look at the competition she overcame. Other entrants included: Georgia, Armenia, Russia, Belgium, Sweden, The Netherlands, Israel, and Belarus. So uh...yeah.

At least she sang in her own godamned language. Sort of, for most of it, yes.

Volume 5: Something electro & something not

Hello hello. Celebrating this week madcore because a friend who visited my lovely third world apartment left her ipod by misteak (mistake) and I ripped all of the music off onto my work computer, which has left me basking in pop and non-pop for a happy few days.

In the treasure trove are some not-so treasures, but among them I found this gem:

Crystal Castles - CELESTICA
What kind of music is this? Think the effeminate version of Kraftwerk and mix it with something Goldfrapp and we're getting there. Or maybe is does actually fall into a genre. Electronic experimental, the wikipedia tells me. Well, okay.

Anyway the song is lovely, but most of theirs are, especially "Courtship Dating" and "Crimewave." The reason I've chosen this song for y'all is becuuuuuuz she and her faux band are in Highgate Cemetery (I think). I recognize it and I did spend  a full day there when I was passing through Londontown. I think there are also some shots of Karl Marx's grave but then again, I could be making all of this up.

Anyway, a total winner. I'm so glad I discovered this band. I'm digging it. Upon a quick survey of the youtube commenters' reviews, it seems that a prerequisite to listening to this type of music is being something they call "high." Take that as you will. I enjoy it in plain form at my work desk while editing lame articles about nothing.

Worth watching?: Yes!
Downloadable?: DOUBLE YES! & DONE!

Princess Chelsea - The Cigarette Duet
This is epic, in every sense of the word. Everything about this song turns a pop tart on, and even though its a little forced...force hipster, that is...I am in love. The mixed up cosmic space music box feel here is inimitable and completely new to my ears. Beyond that, I love male-female vocals that are freaking Gotye. This is 1,000,000 times better than "Somebody That I Used to Know."

The lyrics are hilarious, and meaningful. I've had the same conversation with half of my boyfriends. When the guitar solo expands in the end, I really feel as if I'm part of some epic conversation like this. It also gives the impression of swimming slowly, or passing through into a different dimension known as alien 60s.

I'm not terribly fond of the "la la la"s at the end, but they have to be there for this to be a forced hipster masterpiece. Please listen and download, you will not regret it.

The music video is crafty as well, which is always a plus. Although somewhat amateur, it makes the whole thing feel a bit more real, doesn't it?

Worth watching?: A resounding yes!
Downloadable?: For every occasion.

Well it has been a successful day in the pop tart world. I'm a happy bumpkin. Until the next!

Volume 2: Where's the party?

Trey Songz - Never Again

This song seemed promising, honestly it did. I like the fluttery sound in the background. But there's something off about the whole piece. With that said, youtubers seemed to like it.

First of all. Wow. Touching a bald guys' head is extremely creepy on screen. As is sipping a milkshake and bobbing ones' head. Then pounding the table next to it.

So, I get it. Trey is never gonna see this girl again. Is that because she is dead? If she is dead that makes me sad. Oh wait, there's a jail-like hallway. Maybe she's in jail.

Nope, that's a concert hall. Wow, how could I get those two things confused.

Okay, nothing happened in this song or video. What a waste of my spare time at work. Disappointment all around. Don't watch this.

Worth watching?: A resounding "no."
Downloadable?: Only as background music at a boring dinner party.

Kenji NMB48 - Kitagawa Kenji
Right, so, on that note. This song is moving very much fastlier..quickerly...than the previous one. But it sucks just as hard. I don't know why this exists, but it is mildly amusing. A bunch of girls in extremely colorful bows and ribbons dance extremely cutely.

If you were having trouble understanding, the lyrics are right there captioning to help you. Oh? You don't read Japanese? Well, you'll probably remain lost with this one then.

Worth watching?: yes, I suppose.
Downloadable?: To practice your DDR moves. If featured, this song will surely do a number on you.

Okay, so that's all for this week. From one pop tart to another, I wish you well.

Volume 1: Where the F*** is this guy from?

Today at gimme pop tart, I'd like to review my first two bits of pop for y'all. If you're here, I assume you've either 1) stumbled upon this blog by mistake or 2) searched the terms "retarded girl in Turkey reviews unpopular pop music."

Enough of that, let's get started.

Alexander Rybak - Leave Me Alone
Okey dokey, thanks to my good old friend Sasher, I've revisited a Eurovision favorite this evening  to have the distinct pleasure of listening to another of his violin masterpieces. Not. This kid looks charming, if you squint. His violin playing is off the wall. But what we have here is a regular piece of weirdness.

You probably remember "Fairytale" from Eurovision 2009. In that song, he was in love with an imaginary person. In "Leave Me Alone," a similar imaginary person is stalking him. Cue the weirdness.

What kind of mental institute leaves all its doors open and let's sexy girls in blue dresses walk in? Clearly, this video is not to be taken seriously.

Now, for the song: not really catchy at first, but it has its good bits if you listen closely. After listening twice, I'm classifying it as processed and uninteresting. Just one question. Where the f*** is this guy even from?

Worth watching?: YES
 Downloadable?: NO

Woodkid - Run Boy Run
Now, here's the most interesting thing I've seen on the youtube for a while. Shot in black in white, I can't seem to tell if it is artistic or artificial, and that irritates me. The faithful youtube commenters were correct in their observation that the music and the video go well together. For that, I commend Woodkid and their hero in the video, who is apparently befriended monsters to fight a war against Cloud City.

For the music, its pleasurable. The drums are excellent, reminds me of my Björk days (I'll explain that later). You'll find that the dramatic climaxing technique is very effective here. One question. Where the f*** are these guys from? In another song ("Iron," also worth watching as it is the more popular of the two), the singer DEFINITELY says "leeps" instead of "lips." Having done no research whatsoever...I'm going with French.

Worth watching?: YES+
Downloadable?: MAYBE. Give it another listen next week and decide.

Okay folks, that's all for now. Catch you next week for Volume 2 of gimme pop tart. Om nom nom.