Volume 14: Bollywood and Bouncy Beats!

Hidy ho there, poptarts. Had the pleasure of watching a Bollywood movie last week, and since then, I cannot get songs from the soundtrack out of my head. Yes yes yes, it was "3 Idiots" -- a classic, I've heard, and one of the best-selling Bollywood films of all time. A great movie with a great message. Meanwhile, on the internets, a certain Ellie Goulding released her new song, "Burn." While I didn't love "Burn," a youtube commenter turned me on to the greatness that is "Figure 8."



Aal Izz Well - 3 Idiots
Ah, yes. Bollywood's greatest. There is just enough silly in this song to make it 100% fun and no regrets. I can dance my ass off to this all day, ever day. So what makes it so great? One word: Indians. "Life o Out of control"! "Aaaaal izzzzz welll!" I love the intermittent English splashed in with lines in Hindi. All is good. The drumming and the horns are on point also. Not sure about the guitar. LOVE the lyrics.

"Confusion hee confusion ha! Solution kuja buta na hee! Solution yup minna ta salad Question fiyat ha na hajja hi!"

Isn't that enough to make you want to watch it?

*Dances like crazy, complete with arm-flailing!*

Giggu-gigga-ga ga! All of the different voices and sounds in this song make it so detailed and delicious. If you don't like it the first time, I encourage you to listen to it a couple more times. There are some real gems in terms of vocals and mouth...sounds.

Worth watching?: It's damn funny and crazy.
Downloadable?: Def.


Ellie Goulding - Figure 8
This song is straight up powerful. It gives you the sense of buildup, urgency, and fear at times. I like haunting stuff like this, and I am so glad it exists. Her sound is somewhat similar to Goldfrapp or Imogen Heap, so if you like them I think you'll like this, too. There's a bit of dubbysteppy thing going on, which is always fun. I picture really awesome landscapes when she breaks into the chorus, which I love. The little melodies and electro-sounds throughout out are fresh and very, very welcome.

In terms of the vocals, I'm not totally sure if they are unique. I do like "Lovers hold on...to everything/ Lovers hold on...to anything." BECAUSE IT'S SOOOO TRUE.

In general, I think this a good bedroom track, a good riding the ferry to work song, and in general a very spiritual and moving piece of work. It echoes some of that celestial sound that is so popular nowadays. IF YOU'S A POPTART, you'd better appreciate! :) Toward the end of the song there are some serious keyboard jams going on. Not to be missed.

Worth watching?: Haven't seen it yet. At work.
Downloadable?: Very much.

That's all for now!

Volume 13: American Pop!

After a 1-month hiatus (I'm sorry! I've been in the US!), I bring you my top three favorites from the US and Canada top 40 radio. I'm usually very out of touch with the music scene in the US, and for just a few weeks I'll feel relatively up to date. YAY.

P!nk - Just Give Me a Reason

I find this song to be incredibly moving. I'm not sure what it is that I like about it; a friend of mine in New Jersey absolutely hates it, and I'm pretty sure a lot of other people do, too. I think it speaks to the hearts of people who have been in this situation before, though. In a relationship that you can kinda tell may be ending, but hanging on to a strand of hope that may/may not ever prove real. I understand P!nk in this song. Sometimes it's really hard to feel like that person you "love" is worth "loving" and whether or not you still "love" each other. Every time this song came on the radio in my rental vehicle I belted it out. I think that's another reason I like it. It's in my vocal range!

Worth watching?: The video is a bit melodramatic.

Downloadable?: Definitely. It grows on you, man.

Selena Gomez - Come and Get It

This song should not be as catchy as it is. As much as I like the African drumming thing and the ethnic vibe, her vocals are not that great and the chorus has probably been done 1,034,322 times. But oh well. I like the male backup vocals and many other things about this song. Mostly I love how strong it sounds, and anything that is electronic that can be danced to. I just like stuff like that man, I'm a goddamned pop tart after all.

Lyrics are really mismatched with the sound of the song, which is a shame. I wish she had kinda kept the spiritual Africa thing going throughout the track. Hey, you can't have everything.

Worth watching?: Dunno, haven't seen it yet.

Downloadable?: Deffo. But expect to skip it on occasion due to cheesiness.

Icona Pop - I Love It

Let me preface my praise for this song by saying that my mom does not enjoy it. Aforementioned New Jersey friend loves it, though, so that makes it okay for me to make it my jam. I will admit I was a bit drunk that day when we rocked hard to this song in her car. But that was so fun that I will always attached extreme fun to this song. I also heard it about 1 million times on my way from Maine to Toronto. So, it's engrained in my brain.

Why do I love it? I just love it. I love it. I also enjoy the premise of kinda destroying everything and going crazy because you love it so much. Also, I think this is the perfect example of 2010s music--super electro dance funky. Thumbs up from me.

Worth watching?: Yes, it's fun.

Downloadable?: Absolutely!

That's all for now, pop tarts. I'll try to keep in touch next week. Until then, keep it poppin'!

Special: Thoughts on Eurovision 2013 Semi-Final 1

The ones who qualified are in bold:


Austria: Natália Kelly - Shine
I thought I liked this song, but it turns out her voice just didn't do it justice. The song itself is nice, but the girl was just very basic with an overall weak voice.

Estonia: Birgit - Et Uus Saaks Alguse
I'm not sure about the song. I mean, I appreciate that she sang in Estonian, and it was a powerful ballad. But I disagree with her dress and the fact that it made to the final. Same old crap.

Slovenia: Hannah - Straight Into Love
This song was actually better than the Estonian one, I thought, yet didn't make the cut. An interesting dubby bit at the beginning. The girl was not bad. But who cares about Slovenia?

Croatia: Klapa s Mora - Mižerja
When I first heard this I was massively disappointed. Then, something happened, and after a few listens I realized that it was melodic magic. Six gentlemen singing from their hearts is awfully lovely. In a traditional style and dress, how could they not win? Unfortunately, they also failed to make the cut.

Denmark: Emmelie de Forest - Only Teardrops
I'll be honest -- this was my early favorite, simply because it's catchy and the girl is kind a crazy bitch. The song is really haunting in a way...not uplifting. Buuut yeah. The performance was excellent and well produced, it sort of looked like it had already won. We'll see.

Russia: Dina Garipova - What If
Girl - unattractive. Not that unattractiveness is a deal breaker, but this is Eurovision and you are Russia. A real wtf moment. Also the message of the song is cliché and lame. I get it. Imagine all the people, living for today. Should NOT have qualified for the final.

Ukraine: Zlata Ognevich - Gravity
My German friend Anna knew right away that this would make it, but it has absolutely no character whatsoever. I didn't like it before, and I hate it even more now.

The Netherlands: Anouk - Birds
Most people in the Eurovision community seem kinda disappointed that this song made it through to the final. I agree that the song is weird, but I think Anouk is talented. Not a winning entry, but good enough for the final, yeah.

Montenegro: Who See - Igranka
Biggest letdown ever. Performance was crazy Eurovision good, singing was inspired, and the rapping was perfect. I don't get how all of Europe watched this last night and did not unanimously vote for it. I mean, guys in astronaut suits?

Lithuania: Andrius Pojavis - Something
I cannot remember a single thing about this song.

Belarus: Alyona Lanskaya - Solayoh
Belarus had picked another, more interesting song. This came out of left field kinda and while I think Belarus deserves a spot in the final (since it got eliminated so early other years), this song is average at best and imitates older, similar songs too much.

Moldova: Aliona Moon - O Mie
Wow! I can't believe a song with lyrics like "The Mayans were not so wrong it's the end of the world" ended up being sung in Romanian. Bravo, whoever made that decision. And Pasha Parfeny on piano!

Ireland: Ryan Dolan - Only Love Survives
Good performance, and strong voice. I was pleased that there weren't really any bad singers, so to speak, in this edition. I mean I really disliked some of the ballads, but all the people held a tune at least. As for this particular track, nothing special.

Cyprus: Despina Olympiou - An Me Thimasai
Ugh, good thing this underwhelming nothingness is not going anywhere. I have no idea what this was about, and wayyyy too much plastic surgery on her.

Belgium: Roberto Bellarosa - Love Kills
Totally creepy eyes. That's all there is to say about this. Song was mediocre and also scary.

Serbia: Moje 3 - Ljubav Je Svuda
I was very disappointed in Serbia's national final, so not letting these three 'hos into the final is a welcome decision made by voters.

Well, that wraps it up for now. I'll post a recap of the second semi-final on Friday!

Volume 12: I've Been K-Popped

It happened. I became obsessed with K-Pop, and it only took about 2 weeks. That's record time. So let's get to it.

Why do I love K-pop?

I think this track answers the question.


T-ara - Roly Poly HD
What to say about this song? If you liked J-pop and a few Korean songs in the late 90s or early 2000s, you will love this. Everything about T-ARA embodies cuteness. Their dance moves are adorable, their singing is cute, and there is EVEN a Japanese version of this song for people like me, who love and understand Japanese. So happy!

I think what makes Roly Poly so danceable is the background beat, which has a sort of uncha, uncha, uncha, uncha, to it. You know what I mean? It's electronic at its best. But the hook is sooooooo such a good hook. I also like the "Mola....mola!" going on during the verses, although I have no idea what it means. Please give this song a try. You will not regret it if you like pop, and disregard the fact that it is in Korean, and yes. It is a masterpiece.

Uhhhhh, I can't get enough. This is definitely a song worth dancing to in the kicthen. Or bedroom. Or any room, really. I even chair dance to it at work.

Apparently it's old news, but I think you'll like it.

Worth watching?: YES.
Downloadable?: DOUBLE YES.

VIXX - On and On
Now for some men. Now, first of all, I do think this song is catchy and good. But what makes it awesome and necessary for your collection is the crazy attractiveness of some of these guys. They rival classically hot Asian musicians such as Junichi Yamamura and Gackt. Not to mention the lovely gentlemen from Dir en Grey. In any case they are HOT.

But anyway the song is also catchy as hell. I don't totally understand why, and I'm not a huge fan of the rapping either. I haven't downloaded this yet since hearing it over a week ago, but it seems like I might have to. There are some very, very catchy beats here. I am getting very involved with k-pop. I realize I'm late getting on the k-pop bus but what I can do. At least I'm sharing with you.

And it's also a welcome distraction considering how awful Eurovision 2013 is shaping up to be.

Worth watching?: HAWT.
Downloadable: PERHAPS.

Enjoy! Please share the k-pop love!

Volume 11: Just In Loveeeeeeee!

Well, good news tarts! Justin Timberlake finally released a single besides "Suit & Tie," from his new album the 20/20 experience. I'll be reviewing up one of those right this minute. On a different note, I find a song that is actually quite old (6 months-ish), which gives me a very soothing and tranquil feeling.

Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
This is amazing already, I can barely take the excitement. My first impression is that it is very catchy, in a Lovestoned kinda way. It's making me want to dance a little bit, even though the lyrics are not exactly clever. They may stick with me later. His voice really sounds different, I guess Justin is growing up a little bit. Well, it's clear that he's talented, and he always has been, but his sound is evolving into something more mature, and this song is good proof of that.

When the song changes a bit at 3:40, I do feel hesitant, it's not a melodic as I had hoped. There is a distinct feeling of love in this track, and pure happiness or bliss. It's so sweet because he just got married. Ahhh, yes, love is adorable. And now, toward the end of the song (5:20), it becomes instrumental, and this is what I love about Justin. No...wait, something weird is happening, a kind of rap thing with weird electronic sounds going on in the back. Song's not over yet.

Well it's getting a bit cheesy. Wait a second now, Justin...are you sure you want to be this cheesy? Ughhhh I can't say no to this, because I love it madcore. It's too late, I fell into the Justin trap. I do like what is happening at the end of the song, actually, and I think it will grow on me.

Worth watching?: No video yet. Give it a listen.
Downloadable?: I downloaded it after the first 12 seconds. I suggest you do that, too.

Note: second time through, I'm channelling "My Love."

Wynter Gordon - Stimela
Thanks to my new flirtatious feelings toward last.fm, I am gathering new music. Wynter Gordon is not really new, and in fact, a few of songs you have probably heard. And then you thought they were Rhianna. Well, this song is not like that. This song is different and amazing, and there is NAKEDNESS! Well, not totally but enough to make me interested.

First of all, I get an Enya or Enigma thing from this melody, which I love and throws me back in time to my more innocent music days. But secondly, and most importantly, she sings in a different language, which I presume is something from Africa. I seriously love it, and I feel like she must be so underrated for releasing this in the wake of crazier radio-friendly tracks.

Anyway, the video is beautiful, the meaning is valuable, and above all else, it is relaxing. There is so not enough relaxing music on the market these days (which isn't super adulterated).

Worth watching?: 100%.
Downloadable?: For those lazy mornings and after work yoga.

Enjoy, darlings!

Special Edition: The Spirit Indestructible

Okay, let me preface this entry by saying that I haven't actually listened to the whole album yet. Just a few of the songs that have come to my attention over the past 10 hours. I found a great channel on Turkish TV to watch Western music videos and I wasn't pleasantly surprised by Nelly Furtado's new song. So I checked out some of the tracks on youtube today. And this is what I bring to you.

TRIPLE PLAY!

Nelly Furtado - Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)
The video is soooooo, soooo, weird. The song is much, much weirder. I can't believe this is real. I mean, it's got quite a bit of views (7+ million), so I was a bit late for this boat. But there is something catchy about it. I think it's just that in general there are very deep and interesting melodies at the background of this track. I love those tones. And also, I find Nelly Furtado to consistently release stuff that is danceable. I don't love her talk singing throughout though.

Very chill track, though. I like the "I can go fast/I can go slow/I can go places nobody else goes" motif. Very catchy and very chilling. However, the song is not really sticking with me on the third or fourth listen. It may fall by the wayside, but I'll check it out again in the next couple of weeks.

The Native American dancers are sweet. Does anyone know if that's authentic? It's true, Nell, I ain't never seen nothing like that.

Bigger the better...

There was probably no need for the pickup at the end. The next song I'm about to review does the same damn thing. A weird pickup. Reminiscent of Black-Eyed-Peas' "I Just Can't Get Enough."

Worth watching?: Yes, if only for the weird Illuminati and imagery.
Downloadable?: Leaning toward no.

Nelly Furtado - Waiting For The Night
I do love this song. Actually I fell in love with the video last night because I like the day of the dead/flamenco hybrid thing going on here, and the makeup is amazing. Even if you don't like the style of music or the girl herself, watch the vid, it's very artful. The dancing is quite cute and the imagery is unique. I love how colorful and exotic music has become in the past few years. It's all about being extravagant in the pop industry these days.

As for the song, there are so many interesting sounds that I'm getting a bit addicted to it. I hear accordion, but I also like the underlying whine. And there is a very interesting Asian-sounding or morphed guitar pinging at a certain point, which I find very sexy. Then there are dropping beats also, very mysterious. I very much enjoy what she or her producers have done with this one.

I don't really understand the meaning of the lyrics, however: are they about being in love but having to wait a lot for her lover? Or maybe he's a secret lover and she's trying to draw him away from his wife/girlfriend? Or maybe, he only booty calls her and she wants more? All very interesting.

Unnecessary pickup again at the end of the song, but so be it. That's the style these days, is it?

Worth watching?: Def.
Downloadable?: Oh, sure!

Nelly Furtado - Spirit Indestructible
Starts very weird, very slow. The second string of this song is great though, and it does inspire me to get up and dance, and possible engage in some other weird behavior. Actually, I would consider downloading these three songs and doing crazy shit to 'em, tonight!

There's something eerily cheesy about this song though, and it extends beyond the lyrics of being indestructible. I think it may be the background scenery and her costumes in the songs. It is generally uplifting, but that's just the melody and the drumming doing some work on your inner rhythm, probably.

Again, mad chill beats on this one though, for a pop girl. And she is definitely more prude that your run of the mill sexy Canadian. Did I just say that?

Worth watching?: If you're in to the Uli from Project Runway thing.
Downloadable?: Nahhh...


That concludes this special edition! Have a field day!

Volume 10: China crazy!

So, I went to China and I discovered new music. Sort of. I actually can't believe I have never heard this song, it is so awesome. Specifically, I went to Foshan, China, and checked out four night spots. For more about THAT, check out my other blog....

Also, Denmark chose their song for Eurovision, so I've thrown that in here too. Congrats Denmark. I'm not ashamed of you and your song doesn't make me feel uncomfortable.


Porcelain Black - Naughty Naughty
I may be biased because I watched a stripper dance to this song with two sexy male dancers also while drunk at a nightclub in China. But I LOVE it. I can't believe I missed it for over a year, I feel really behind. It has a certain Lady Gaga feel, but the bridge and the chorus are unique. It gives you the sense of a strip tease, and it also sounds very Asian.

Well, after a bit of research, I have learned that she is, in fact, American, and has not released any album yet as far as I can see. She has got amazing talent and an amazing sound. I'm looking forward to her next thing...she is just lovely.

LOVE.

Here's the crazy bit, though...why did I hear this song first in China? This is obviously going to be big in the US, as it is being produced by RedOne. YAYKES.

Worth watching?: Video here, but go for a listen.
Downloadable?: YES.


Emmelie De Forest - Only Teardrops
This song has its ups and downs. It starts off a little cheesily, and I don't really like the verses leading up to the chorus. The chorus is catchy though, it has a very addictive sound and I think this song has a chance at winning. The bridge....ugh, I'm listening to the bridge again and yeah I can say I really hate it a lot. But I do like the song overall, and the piper.

In the video, it does seem like he has the potential to become the next "epic sax guy," if he performs well at the show. On stage it will definitely be different.

Her voice is also impressive....for Eurovision. I mean, she has very nice tone quality. Bravo, Denmark.

Worth watching?: Nothing special about the video.
Downloadable?: Yes, I think so. Give it a try.

Until the next, darling tarts!

Volume 9: Happy Crazy Party!

Today at Gimme Pop Tart, we're looking at two freaky crazy funky tunes from my favorite land, Asia!

We have a very teen poppy but dark thing from Japan, and a hilarious epic track which has 90s pop flavor from Korea. Both are number one on youtube this week!

Momoiro Clover Z - サラバ、愛しき悲しみたちよ
Ah ha, diggy diggy! Oh oh! Gooey, gooey.

Ok, that sums that up.

Anyway, this is you typical j-pop crazy shitty funny crap that I love. The girls are super famous, and there are madly young and super advanced in their fame. Oh well, it usually happens in Japan after all. I really love the bridges in the song, but I don't love the first chorus. The second chorus is much better in fact, yes, much catchier. I may learn the lyrics to this. (DID YOU KNOW? Miss Pop Tart speaks Japanese)! I listened to this song last week and didn't love it, but now that it's number one on the J-pop top 40, I thought it deserved a second listen. The MV is also really cute.

Momoiro Clover girls: "One, two, sree, for'n'fayb, stand up and make some noise!"
Me: Okay! OKAY!!!

There's something adorable about the aggression of teenage Japanese girls. I absolutely adore this song. I'm gonna go download it right now.

Worth watching?: Yes, the video is unique & cute, methinks.
Downloadable?: If it sticks to you after a week, it will never go away.

I Got a Boy - Artist Girls' Generation
I'm in the first minute and still speechless. WTF IS THIS. It is so visually pleasing but the music makes no sense. It's reminiscent of Beyonce's "Girls Run the World." The beat changes so much and the lack of clear melody is soooo rando. This is the number one song? How?

It may get better, so I'm hanging in there. It does have dance-ability in the form of famenco, dance beats, and sing-alonginess. I guess I can see the song being played at clubs and tons of hot Korean girls going wild. Sounds like a happy crazy party! "I got a boy, mochi. I got a boy, chicken."

In the words of a reputable posting source, MadameLoveyDovey, "I really don't like this. I even saw a teaser for it and thought it might be pretty cool. I think they are trying too hard, plus the song is really jumbled; it has no flow."

I think I agree.

Worth watching?: EYE CANDY!!!! Completely pop tarty.
Downloadable?: I don't think so.

Volume 8: Dark & Funny

Happy new year my darling tarts! I am not expecting much from 2013, so bring on the surprises. To kick off the new year, I got a lovely Australian band (super unique) and an adorable and Spice Girlsy group of Asian girls for you.

Twelve Foot Ninja - Coming For You
Loss for words. Honestly, that is how I feel right now. For the first 37 seconds of this song, I was like..."mehh...metal stuff...I don't really like met--" and then 0:38 happened. Oh, my god. So funny. The video kinda makes the song at times, but now that I'm listening to the song by itself, I can see how its awesomeness leaps to new heights. Or rather, hear.

So, this is an Australian band, is it? Ah, that makes sense. Cue the incredibly funny sense of humor.

The premise of the lyrics is also hilarious: in the metal bits, it's basically rape. In the jazzy bits, he is much less coercive. And sliding into the disco section, it gets a bit more forceful but not really actually. "Make peace within!"

I love the salsa bits, seriously, this shit is genius.

Worth watching?: Yes, yes! You'll laugh and cry.
Downloadable?: I'll decide that later.

KARA - MR.
This is love. I mean, I have such a crush on these girls. They are all adorable and I want to gobble them up madcore. "Mistahhhh!" So, the video is good eye candy. The butt swing is hilarious. I've heard its quite popular nowadays.

I'm confused. I know this is Korean, but there are Japanese lyrics...and English lyrics also of course. Let's not forget that we are in Asia. I guess it's just to be marketable in Korean and Japan? "Listen to my Everything! Feel me!"

As for the song, it's not exactly catchy, and I don't love the repetitive melody. I just like the girls and their fashion is so fresh. Cute and funny. Give it a watch.

Worth watching?: Yes.
Downloadable?: Probably not.

Volume 7: Christmasvision!

First of all, I am hugely disappointed by every single Eurovision 2013 entry so far. This has been a big let down so far, and I hope the remaining 30 or so countries send actually good music. Maybe.

In Eurovision news, Turkey, Slovakia, and Bosnia are out for 2013. They cited a lack of financial resources and being disillusioned with the new televoting/jury voting system as main reasons for being out.

This means that Miss Pop Tart won't be able to vote. Shucks.

Zlata Ognevich - Gravity
A couple of days ago, this song won the contest for Ukraine. I am disappointed mostly because their entry last year was hilarious and funny, not to mention freaking catchy. She wasn't a great singer, but that was a great show.

As for Zlata...well, she's a disappointment. No dubstep here, just a bunch of choral voices wailing in the background of an entirely forgettable ballad. It seems like the only music that I've heard lately is extremely confusing. This song's African vibes are trying too hard.

I hope no one votes for this song. Why would anybody even consider it?

Q: Were all the other options that bad?
A: Yes. They were. The other top scorers were also ballads with absolutely nothing memorable about them whatsoever.

Worth watching?: For laughs
Downloadable?: No.

And now, for some Christmas magic, I give you the lovable Sean Banan.
Sean Banan - Gott nytt jul

If you don't know Sean, let me give you a bit of backstory: he's an Iranian immigrant living in Sweden, and was seriously considered for Eurovision 2012. Unfortunately, he was usurped by that horrible b*tch Loreen. I can't say much more than that about him, except that he's twisted and funny and his songs are mint. This is an oldie but goodie for the Christmas season.

On to the song: I love the jingle bells, and I don't even mind hearing them in the summertime. I also love the degenerate look of everyone in this video. At 0:34, when he has to decide between tuna(?) and a shwarma(?), I love that he picks shwarma. Yeah, everything about this is racist and disturbing also. I wish I could understand Swedish. And the meaning of this vid.

Worth watching?: Absolutely.
Downloadable?: Double yes!

Volume 6: Something old & something new

For posterity's sake, I'd like to share something old and golden with ya'll. A friend of mine said they watched this first vid in her Russian language class way back when.

Potap i Nastya Chumachechaya Vesna Clip
Now, Potap i Nastya are actually a very popular band (duo?), with lots of sweet pop tunes. At first glance, this video seems like it's going to be a classic ballad, or perhaps sad song, in an old style. The question "Are they serious?" may come to mind. I assure you that once you realize the expression of the piano player, or hear the voice of the male lead, you'll understand just how funny this song is. We need not understand the lyrics, or anything about what is happening.

This song is the perfect example of music I like: catchy, confusing, impossible to understand, and peppy. It's great. I listen to this song all the friggin time. It isn't until around 2:43 that the video starts to get a bit trippy, aka awesome. And omg the accordion player. Just, please watch this. IF for nothing else, the guy playing a spatula.

It's incredibly amusing and funny. In the words of Boney M, "Oh, those Russians." Looks like in the springtime everyone goes ballistic.

Chumachechaya is supposed to be childlike mispronunciation of a word that means something like "the coming of spring." Here is another song I like by Potap i Nastya.

Worth watching?: Yes, yes, yes.
Downloadable?: ALSO YES!

Also, this:

Deepside Deejays - Look Into My Eyes
I love this Romanian band, first of all. They have produced great tracks over the years, and here's their latest. This has your classic accordion overlay in the background (when did that become classic?), and it also has an epic break point where the beat slows and the listener feels like they are thrown into the love story. The main problem with the song is that it sounds a little like "Never Be Alone," so it doesn't really stick with me. I mean, I can just listen to that if I feel like hearing this song.

The video is also cliiiiiiche. Girl wakes up, she has beautiful blue eyes, she's thinking of all her memories with you (her chubby boyfriend?), and its a little dramatic. Then...suddenly...WE'RE ON BOATS! Wow! We're having so much fun in boats!

It does make you jealous though, you know it does. I find it amusing that he says "It's just me and you, baby," in the song, but the video is him on a boat with at least three girls. You and who? These people have so much money. Romania rocks.

Watchable?: Eye candy.
Downloadable?: Only if you don't already have "Never Be Alone."

Special Edition: The Junior Eurovision Song Contest is OVER

And, its....

Anastasiya Petryk - Nebo / Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2012 !!!!!!

I'm really not sure how to go about reviewing this song, because a) I don't actually like it that much and b) she's like 10 years old.

This is from the largely unwatched and undercovered Junior Eurovision Song Contest. Anyway, there's something catchy and magical about this song, and I need to express how weird it is that Ukraine keeps going for these dubstep tunes. (ref. "Be My Guest - Gaitana").

I mean, she's 10. Is dubstep really her thing?

The chorus is...well, I wouldn't describe it as catchy, but it's nice and she does hold a tune. The background haunting vocals are a bit misplaced. I mean, what's the context? There is a Prince of Egypt thing going on, like one of the singers from the soundtrack wandered over to the Netherlands to back this chick up? But this is supposed to be the Ukraine, aww hell I'm confused. The whole thing makes it seem a bit cheesy, but I LOVE her dress. She is one lucky pop tart.

"Zank you veddy maaach!"

Anyway, give it a listen. Millions of curious Europeans voted for her, after all. 138 points? Wow.

Also, look at the competition she overcame. Other entrants included: Georgia, Armenia, Russia, Belgium, Sweden, The Netherlands, Israel, and Belarus. So uh...yeah.

At least she sang in her own godamned language. Sort of, for most of it, yes.

Volume 5: Something electro & something not

Hello hello. Celebrating this week madcore because a friend who visited my lovely third world apartment left her ipod by misteak (mistake) and I ripped all of the music off onto my work computer, which has left me basking in pop and non-pop for a happy few days.

In the treasure trove are some not-so treasures, but among them I found this gem:

Crystal Castles - CELESTICA
What kind of music is this? Think the effeminate version of Kraftwerk and mix it with something Goldfrapp and we're getting there. Or maybe is does actually fall into a genre. Electronic experimental, the wikipedia tells me. Well, okay.

Anyway the song is lovely, but most of theirs are, especially "Courtship Dating" and "Crimewave." The reason I've chosen this song for y'all is becuuuuuuz she and her faux band are in Highgate Cemetery (I think). I recognize it and I did spend  a full day there when I was passing through Londontown. I think there are also some shots of Karl Marx's grave but then again, I could be making all of this up.

Anyway, a total winner. I'm so glad I discovered this band. I'm digging it. Upon a quick survey of the youtube commenters' reviews, it seems that a prerequisite to listening to this type of music is being something they call "high." Take that as you will. I enjoy it in plain form at my work desk while editing lame articles about nothing.

Worth watching?: Yes!
Downloadable?: DOUBLE YES! & DONE!

Princess Chelsea - The Cigarette Duet
This is epic, in every sense of the word. Everything about this song turns a pop tart on, and even though its a little forced...force hipster, that is...I am in love. The mixed up cosmic space music box feel here is inimitable and completely new to my ears. Beyond that, I love male-female vocals that are freaking Gotye. This is 1,000,000 times better than "Somebody That I Used to Know."

The lyrics are hilarious, and meaningful. I've had the same conversation with half of my boyfriends. When the guitar solo expands in the end, I really feel as if I'm part of some epic conversation like this. It also gives the impression of swimming slowly, or passing through into a different dimension known as alien 60s.

I'm not terribly fond of the "la la la"s at the end, but they have to be there for this to be a forced hipster masterpiece. Please listen and download, you will not regret it.

The music video is crafty as well, which is always a plus. Although somewhat amateur, it makes the whole thing feel a bit more real, doesn't it?

Worth watching?: A resounding yes!
Downloadable?: For every occasion.

Well it has been a successful day in the pop tart world. I'm a happy bumpkin. Until the next!

Volume 4: Malaysian or not?

Yuna - Terukir Di Bintang
Not sure about this one yet. She is Malaysian, and I've never heard the language. It's a new one for me. I'm excited to listen to it a few times and see if I recognize any words. The only problem I have with the song itself...so far..is that it's something Italian sounding. With an accordion, and these overlaying synth vibes, and I'm not sure why. I would have liked to hear her voice paired with traditional southeast asian sounds, because her voice is very soothing. There is also something soothing about this piece. I'll give it another listen.

By the way, the video I've linked you to is nothing special. It seems to be shot in Rome and Venice, but is unofficial, as the title states.

Anyway, she is a beautiful creature and I like her turban. I wish I could rock that look. I mean, she's probably wearing it because she's Muslim, but you know. It's stylish.

I'm still trying to figure out why a youtuber wrote "F*CKING MALAY GRASS GOAT!" in a comment to this video. Grass goats...are they a thing? Is that a racial slur? Did this girl really do something to deserve that comment? Well, maybe. Hit me up, let me know.

Worth watching?: Maybe not, but definitely worth listening to.
Downloadable?: Well... if you don't have anything in Malay to show your friends...yeah, I might download it.

By the way, I've watched a bunch of her other vids, and I've decided I like this one's attitude best. Cute vid also, gives you a little peek into the culture.

Sleeq & Najwa Latif - Untuk Dia
Ok, I have so much to say about this I can barely contain my excitement. First off, I need to mention that this video is being promoted on youtube, which basically means someone is paying money for hits. Well I hit that.

What we have here would appear to be two teenagers chilling with a pubescent chick and partying on a lazy Sunday afternoon. They cruise around in their very expensive car asking me questions about Singapore, which I can't answer. I really don't know guys. Do I want to go to Singapore? Sure! Meanwhile, the headscarf girl continues to look uncomfortable and the wind from the car ruffles her hijab.

Is facebook really called Mukubuku in what I presume to be Malaysian? Are these guys speaking Malaysian? No wiki page, except for one in probably....Malaysian. There's also something going on with the acronym "KL...oh KL...yeah KL...."

Girl sings! Is she a girl? Wait, she is really short. Is this a joke?

Watchable?: Omg yes.
Downloadable: Doesn't seem like it.

Well! This has been a cultural experience. Turns out a lot of kids on you tube randomly mix English in with their own language. I wish I could do eso, pero parece que ana ataklm a lgha inglizia. Buyurun bay bayan!

Yep ok, that's enough.

Volume 3: Hello Goodbye, Lithuania.

Gintarė Korsakaitė - Dreaming
No! No no no no no. This is horrible and I'm panicking, if Lithuania chooses this deranged mousewoman I will be very upset. For some reason, its the favorite of two (2!) commenters on the Eurovision page. I cannot bear it. The most horrible thing ever.

She is singing a pop ballad sort of that is not catchy and is completely forgettable. Moreover, her makeup is bad and she looks like a creeper, to put it mildly.

*big sigh*

Okay, now that the vent is over. I am watching early picks from Lithuania's selection contest for Eurovision Malmö 2013. This one is so bad that I suggest you watch it ONLY so you can campaign against it. I know Lithuania can do better! Oh my god now she is talking to the interviewer and she has no grace or style whatsoever.

But, the language is cute. Too bad she didn't sing in that AS EUROVISION SINGERS WOULD ALMOST ALWAYS BE BETTER OFF DOING AHHHHHH.

I love/hate Eurovision so much it kills me. Anyway, this is just the beginning. There's a good chance that Lithuania does not send this song to Sweden, after all. Phew glad that's over.

Worth watching?: Try.
Downloadable?: Never.

Vudis ir Samanta Tina - Hey chiki - mama
Good news. This IS NOT GOING TO EUROVISION.

Bad news. It still exists, and has the most views from that week of the selection contest in Lithuania. More than 58,000 people have subjected to this sh*t. And it actually has more likes than dislikes. I love Eurovision but this is so weird, weird crap.

The girl reminds me of Posh spice wrapped in a sour twizzler. The guy is so boring that he reminds me of a black hole. And why the hell is he saying "hey chiki mamwah?"

In short, worse than the other one I watched today. I think I'm gonna take a break from all this and just check back on Lithuania in a few weeks. Hello and goodbye Lithuania. Outlook bleak.

Worth watching?: Painful.
Downloadable?: Dear god, no.

Volume 2: Where's the party?

Trey Songz - Never Again

This song seemed promising, honestly it did. I like the fluttery sound in the background. But there's something off about the whole piece. With that said, youtubers seemed to like it.

First of all. Wow. Touching a bald guys' head is extremely creepy on screen. As is sipping a milkshake and bobbing ones' head. Then pounding the table next to it.

So, I get it. Trey is never gonna see this girl again. Is that because she is dead? If she is dead that makes me sad. Oh wait, there's a jail-like hallway. Maybe she's in jail.

Nope, that's a concert hall. Wow, how could I get those two things confused.

Okay, nothing happened in this song or video. What a waste of my spare time at work. Disappointment all around. Don't watch this.

Worth watching?: A resounding "no."
Downloadable?: Only as background music at a boring dinner party.

Kenji NMB48 - Kitagawa Kenji
Right, so, on that note. This song is moving very much fastlier..quickerly...than the previous one. But it sucks just as hard. I don't know why this exists, but it is mildly amusing. A bunch of girls in extremely colorful bows and ribbons dance extremely cutely.

If you were having trouble understanding, the lyrics are right there captioning to help you. Oh? You don't read Japanese? Well, you'll probably remain lost with this one then.

Worth watching?: yes, I suppose.
Downloadable?: To practice your DDR moves. If featured, this song will surely do a number on you.

Okay, so that's all for this week. From one pop tart to another, I wish you well.

Volume 1: Where the F*** is this guy from?

Today at gimme pop tart, I'd like to review my first two bits of pop for y'all. If you're here, I assume you've either 1) stumbled upon this blog by mistake or 2) searched the terms "retarded girl in Turkey reviews unpopular pop music."

Enough of that, let's get started.

Alexander Rybak - Leave Me Alone
Okey dokey, thanks to my good old friend Sasher, I've revisited a Eurovision favorite this evening  to have the distinct pleasure of listening to another of his violin masterpieces. Not. This kid looks charming, if you squint. His violin playing is off the wall. But what we have here is a regular piece of weirdness.

You probably remember "Fairytale" from Eurovision 2009. In that song, he was in love with an imaginary person. In "Leave Me Alone," a similar imaginary person is stalking him. Cue the weirdness.

What kind of mental institute leaves all its doors open and let's sexy girls in blue dresses walk in? Clearly, this video is not to be taken seriously.

Now, for the song: not really catchy at first, but it has its good bits if you listen closely. After listening twice, I'm classifying it as processed and uninteresting. Just one question. Where the f*** is this guy even from?

Worth watching?: YES
 Downloadable?: NO

Woodkid - Run Boy Run
Now, here's the most interesting thing I've seen on the youtube for a while. Shot in black in white, I can't seem to tell if it is artistic or artificial, and that irritates me. The faithful youtube commenters were correct in their observation that the music and the video go well together. For that, I commend Woodkid and their hero in the video, who is apparently befriended monsters to fight a war against Cloud City.

For the music, its pleasurable. The drums are excellent, reminds me of my Björk days (I'll explain that later). You'll find that the dramatic climaxing technique is very effective here. One question. Where the f*** are these guys from? In another song ("Iron," also worth watching as it is the more popular of the two), the singer DEFINITELY says "leeps" instead of "lips." Having done no research whatsoever...I'm going with French.

Worth watching?: YES+
Downloadable?: MAYBE. Give it another listen next week and decide.

Okay folks, that's all for now. Catch you next week for Volume 2 of gimme pop tart. Om nom nom.